2004: #6 - "99 Problems"

From the bluntly simple to the simply blunt, "99 Problems" - produced by famed, white and bearded hip hop pioneer/mogul Rick Rubin - raged about ten-thousand times harder and heavier than any nu-metal or rap-rock band on the radio in 2004, or ever for that matter, which could actually be considered faint praise, when you think about how limp the "music" of that genre was (Last link not a mistake - it sucks).

Rubin, sadly, has been responsible for some late-period rap-metal productions - but he used to just make loud ass hip hop music, going back over twenty years to LL Cool J's Radio, Run DMC's Raising Hell, The Beastie Boys License to Ill and Public Enemy's Yo! Bum Rush the Show, which to this day remain the loudest, hardest rap albums of all time.

Which means that "99 Problems" is hard as hell. It stomps all over the place, kicks all kinds of ass, and literally sounds like heavy metal - the genre, as well as just like, big pieces of metal smashing into each other. Seriously. Plus it's got an unstoppable Jay-Z rapping over it, at the peak of his game, borrowing an awesome, forgotten refrain from another pioneer of heavy rap, as well some of his own memorable material, such as the beginning of this verse, where he describes being pulled over:

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw

In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law

I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)

Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor

Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.

Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case

So I...pull over to the side of the road

I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?

"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "

After three similar verses where the beat continues to come down hard and Jay-Z continues to complain, it can get a little monotonous, which keeps it out of the top 5 in a really strong year, but I fully expect to be listening to this in another 25 years, just like "Rock the Bells" and "You Gonna Get Yours".